What Does Not Kill Me

Everyone knows this famous quote or a variation of it. I have heard it a few times over the last week.

My wife brought me into an emergency room. I will not go into the specific details here, but I was in pretty bad shape. On a good note, I was walking. My wife was answering intake questions while I was still trying to parse the question. I am guessing that we as a civilization still have not figure out a profitable way to separate the coughing/wheezing/gagging from the others in the ER waiting/triage areas. Tests were done. Some good. Some bad. My wife had to insist that they take our insurance info. I am fairly certain that saved us some future headaches. I did learn that you can leave an ER with basically not more than a slip a paper for a referral.

We arrived a few minutes early for my next day appointment with the specialist. We were quickly told that I did not have an appointment. These ER doctors just send people to us without knowing our schedule. After a few minutes, we were back in a room. The doctor made a quick appearance and starting asking questions to see what path I should take. My wife asked a question. What profession are you in? Are you a doctor? It was quickly coming to surgery. The question was when. I could have surgery in two days if we could get the pre-op tests completed or it would be in two weeks.

I knew immediately that I was not going to wait two weeks. Ok. If you think that you can do it. We were given scavenger hunt list of tests that I needed to complete before surgery to be approved for the next day. We were on our own. My wife called around. She got things scheduled. She told people what to send and where. I was barely walking so it was a long day. We ended the day hoping that good results would arrive in time for me to keep that surgery time. I not only needed results, but I also needed to pass each test.

I woke up in pain and a little apprehensive. I tried to keep busy while we waited for results to come in. Finally my surgery was cleared but also moved up. We arrived at the surgery center to learn that surgery was not moved up, just my arrival. Your mind really starts to wander as you sit in a waiting room watching random home improvement shows. Some of it was relief (finally getting this done), and some of it was dark (the what ifs). And my name is called to go back...

I obviously have a bit of memory gap here. The last thing I remember on the pre-op side of the time line is the sharp pain in my arm from the IV anesthetic. I'm ignoring the irony of that. I woke up not knowing where I was or who I was, but I did recognize my wife. I later learned that things did not exactly go smoothly. I was intubated during the procedure.

It's been a week since I started this adventure. I have heard that phrase several times. Do I feel stronger? Well, no. I am certainly slower. I have lost movement. Time will tell whether it's permanent or permanent. Right now I do not agree with Nietzsche. Maybe things will improve in the future. I will say one thing though.

What did not kill me gave me a second chance.